Now we’re getting into cleanliness. I have a lot to say about these three chapters; they make me very mad.

Lev 11 is about clean and unclean animals. The Israelites don’t get instruction about what animals are clean until the Lord tells Moses. If this is the case, how did Noah know which animals should come in pairs, and which should come in seven pairs? Is the Lord’s omnipresence through time and space so great that He can’t tell that he gave the clean list after He told Noah to take seven pairs of clean animals? And wouldn’t Nah have asked him about that?

Then the example of a rabbit being unclean “because he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof.” Whose cud is he chewing? I can understand why an ignorant goat-herd would make this mistake, but the Lord? This is a direct quote. If He can’t get basic biology correct, how can we trust Him about anything?

Lev 12 is the misogynous chapter. It’s about how a woman who gives birth to a son is unclean for seven days (fourteen for a daughter). Just like when she has her period. So we continue the punishment of Eve even unto the last generation.

After thirty-three days (sixty-six for a daughter) of isolation, she must en bring a sin offering to the temple, where “the priest shall make an atonement for her, and she shall be clean.” What a bunch of fatheads.

Lev 13 is the real kicker. It’s a treatise on recognizing and treating infectious skin diseases, as dictated by the Lord. But it’s complete malarkey. It makes no mention of bacteria, disinfection, or the germ theory of disease. Sure, these are bronze age sheep herders, but they are ignorant, not stupid. If the Lord can give them detailed rules about which earlobe gets smeared with blood and when, He can give them detailed rules about recognizing and treating disease.

So this last chapter tells us that either the Bible was not the Word of God, or the Lord is a dick.

Tomorrow: Leviticus 14-15.